Reply to S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If someone is talking about something I have no interest in, like movies I haven't seen, then I will have nothing to say. Extroverts can be talking a lot but saying little (lots of hot air like "Oh WOW!" ..."That's wonderful".... "It REALLY is."...). I don't want to parrot back what someone else just said but with more syrupy adjectives, extra adverbs, and intonation in my voice.  It just seems phony to me and I can't physically muster the energy to talk like that.

Talking is like public speaking. You are supposed to know your audience.  Does OP even know much about this person or what she is interested in? [/quote]

The s is the OP and I really, truly appreciate this post because of the perspective.  
—if someone is talking about something I have no interest in, like a movie I have not seen, I do my best to find something sincerely interesting or relatable about it. I think it’s downright rude to tune it out. 
—I’ll definitely give some intonation and adjectives, for example if a friend is complaining about something at work.  Maybe it’s not fascinating to me, but I’ll try to be enthusiastic and relate.  Is it tiring? Sure, but that person wants validation for her story, and I think part of “carrying the conversation burden” is to listen and give some support.  
—I don’t think conversayion is like public speaking. You are not my “audience”.  I am not here to entertain you and throw out topics or questions in the hope that you will feel sufficiently energized to engage. Conversation is a two way street.  [/quote]

I think the problem is you were in a group. If I were one on one with someone, then I would definitely try to comment even if I was not interested in the topic. I'd validate them, ask questions, show interest, etc.  In a group do you really need a 4th, 5th, or 6th person saying "That's really pretty" when person 1, 2, and 3 already said that? By then the person gets that their necklace is really pretty and it just sounds like I'm a copycat if I say the same thing. I don't have anything to add if it has been said before. My silence means I am in agreement. I reflect before I speak, and I decide first whether what I could say I should say or not. Other people have no mental filter and just say whatever pops into their head.  I have a hard time trusting people because I've been judged frequently for being quiet, so I am more selective about what I say to avoid being judged more.[/quote]

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