Reply to Wife wants to move from city to small hometown, I don't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also I think OP you have to step back and really revisit the beginning of your relationship. She was coming from a very small town and there wasn’t a lot of options likely left relationship wise. At the time, she probably felt your were her only chance to get married and have a family. Now time has passed and she has met lots more people, been exposed to lots of new people, ideas, nicer guys, etc and may now feel like she settled and really missed out but now with 3 kids she can’t do anything to change her situation. She might feel that moving back home will help her feel satisfied were her lot in life as it is. Your mistake OP is not realizing that she too might have simply settled for you and that you both are not at the same place. Stuck with someone who is ok but that you aren’t in love with and never were. No doubt that you love each other and since you have kids, it would be best to keep working with a therapist to build up the relationship you have.[/quote]

In the 3 years between meeting and us eventually getting together, she had a couple of boyfriends she met in the city, so it's not like I was the only option for her. She's said it was always just me she wanted to be with. In fact, when I came to my senses and told her how I felt about her she promptly dropped the guy she was seeing.

As for being in love, I've always struggled with this concept. I've always had trouble with commitment, so every step has been a challenge for me: her moving in, having a baby, getting married. I can't say I was on cloud 9 for any of it. It wasn't until I'd gotten used to the each stage that it became something I was glad happened.

And I accept the irony of what I just said in comparison to my resistance to moving to her home town. I very well could get used to it and be really glad we did it, but it is a MAJORLY overwhelming amount of change all in one go.

- OP[/quote]

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