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[quote=Anonymous]There is a lot to unpack here. 
First, you really need to separate your feelings about how your wife feels about your family from this situation. It is making you blind to the fact that there are legitimate reasons she does not want to go; independent of the fact that she does not like your family. You need to recognize and own that. She may have given crap reasons in the past, but this is legitimate, no matter how much you wish it were not. 
Second, while i would agree you should get to take your toddler to the wedding, i do think it is unreasonable to keep him for an entire week away from his mom, especially at Christmas. He will already likely feel neglected and clingy towards his mom with the new baby and this move may make him more stressed. You should not put the feelings of your parents above those of your child. Period. Seriously, think of your children here. You seem so hell bent on proving what a bad wife you have that you are forgetting that she is actually being a good mom with this decision. 
Third. You guys really need some counseling. It seems like you are viewing her decisions through an unhealthy lens and punishing her for issues you have had in the past. That is not healthy or fair to her. She may have been unreasonable in the past but you need to deal with that independent of this trip..

Each pregnancy and birth and recovery is different. With my first i was up and likely could have went back to work the next day, i felt GREAT! No tearing, easy birth etc etc. However, 2 years later that one was not so easy and recover easily took 2 months before i healed from her birth. There was a 'close call' and emotionally i was frazzled as well as physically. You have no idea what she will feel like, neither does she. It is best to plan for the worst that she is unable to attend.  You can go, you can have fun and to be honest, your family really needs to understand and support that, and YOU need to understand and support that. 
Deal with the past issues because if it is constantly you vs. her; after the baby comes, good luck!
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