Reply to Closed Adoption and found the birth mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m curious as to why the needs of the adoptee “trump” (direct quote) the need of the parent?

Isn’t this a matter of perspective? [/quote]
I think it depends on what the specific needs are. If you put a child up for adoption and say have a particular cancer that runs in your family or everyone in your family has a heart attack at 40 or something like that I think the adoptee’s right to get family medical history trumps the right to privacy. But if it’s just for socialization maybe not as much.

[/quote]

My oldest brother was adopted through a closed adoption in the 1970s. He got Leukemia when he was 19 and they tracked down his mother due to a unique circumstance around his bone marrow. Turned out she wasn’t a match, and he died. She mailed us a nice card and some seashells after he died. She didn’t want to be contacted, and my brother didn’t push it. [/quote]

[b]Everyone[/b] agrees that the relationship aspect has no merit. No, they do not require the socialization. They do, however, absolutely deserve the information about who they are and how they got here. Other siblings do not need to "socialize" but the problem is the PARENT who was not honest, not the adoptee. Even the siblings have the right to know they have siblings- and no no one says they need to  embrace them. That closed time of secrets is over.  [/quote]

the parent has a right not to be "honest". adoptees have no right to know anything other than what their bioparents wanted to have known. they should count themselves extremely lucky to have been adopted rather than aborted.[/quote]

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