Reply to MIL mad that we want to host Thanksgiving

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, what does everyone else say?  Are you sure the BIL, cousin, Aunt/Uncle will be coming to your house?  It sounds like your MIL is assuming they will come to her?  [/quote]

OP here. Thank you, this is a good point. Everyone else is excited for a change, especially because all the cousins always have tons of fun at our house, which is open/kid-friendly and has more sleeping space for overnight guests. We all make it work at MIL's house, but we have more room for people to sleep comfortably, and the kids like playing basketball in our driveway, playing with the wii, etc. This is a closer/more convenient trip for the single cousin, nearly equidistant for everyone else.[/quote]

What did MIL/FIL, BIL and DH do when they were growing up?  Did MIL have to schlep to her in laws every other Thanksgiving and only recently has she been able to be the host?  If you have been together for 7 years, that means 3-4 Thanksgivings with MIL at her house.  Maybe she thought “her turn” would be more than that and thought she was creating a tradition for her grandchildren.

Just trying to see MIL perspective as to why she is digging in her heals. I am in the camp that it is fun to host holidays like Thanksgiving, but I am wondering if DH and I will be the skipped generation that rarely hosts because we had to schlep back and forth between my parents and DH’s parents, only hosting occasionally and when our boys have their own families we will have to go to them (they are 19 and 21).  Now both of our parents are gone, but we still have to schlep to others for holidays because of other mitigating factors.  I will not be mad and we will go wherever our children are as long as we can, but I will be a tad sad.

I think planning this well in advance is the way to go.  MIL may need more time to adjust and eventually acquiesce (but maybe with a little more resistance).

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