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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your son should write his mother a letter. A conversation can lead to an argument but a letter, a hand written letter in particular, allows for one side to clearly articulate their point of view. What he should say, well that's up to him. But the sudden notice isn't cool and I'm not far removed from a situation in which I myself married someone my parents initially pushed back against.

I also think you should attend the ceremony. Your wife may get over it but if I were the daughter in law it would take a while for me to get over it, not to mention the fact that her side of the family will be in her ear about her ungracious mother in law. It's embarrassing not to have either parent at your wedding and quite hurtful.

Sometimes you have to ask yourself if skipping the wedding now is worth not being invited to her grandkid's first birthday or kindergarten graduation? She has 2 or 3 decades of grandparenting...this is just a blip in the grand scheme of things.

[/quote]

Something about this smells fishy. I am tempted to call troll.

Think about it.  Unless this is an elopement, weddings take months to plan.  Families are typically involved in this, even if the couple is self paying.  Wouldn't a normal family of the bride immediately want to meet the family of the groom? That's normal behavior for families who are about to become kin.  Typically there is an introduction, etc., then you go into wedding planning. How many people to invite? How to split the guest list between bride's side/groom's side? Who does what at the wedding, who sits where etc.  Families are typically involved in this.

Any normal family of the bride would be greatly distressed if the bride said, oh, go ahead, just plan the whole thing, no one from his side or family is coming. I know I would be shocked to hear this from my daughter, and would question this marriage immediately.  (This assumes that we are talking about a normal middle class family that would expect a normal, typical wedding).  In fact, I would tell the groom to get it sorted out with his family first because such a marriage will surely be stressed, and I don't want to send my daughter into a stressful situation.

I'm just saying, it's an odd setup.  Especially for a young 20-something who is clearly not self-supporting!

I am writing this as someone who is in a cross-cultural, interfaith marriage.  When I began dating my husband, I told him early on, there is no marriage without support from your family. If you seriously want to get married, I want your family to support this. And he made sure it happened. [/quote]

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