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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Who are these parents are who drop everything to run to Target at night because their middle schooler didn't plan ahead and now needs something last minute?

Are you the same parents who predict OP is screwing up her kids "by working too much"?

Seems to me a 12 year old is more than old enough to understand -- and experience -- the consequences of her own choices and actions.

If she fails to plan and leaves things to the last minute, she is out of luck.  Let her go in to school the next day and work it out with the teacher.  Next time she'll likely plan and communicate more appropriately about what she needs and when.

By the way, my 9 year old gets this completely.

She's in fourth grade, and she knows it's her responsibility to write assignments in her planner and share them with us when she needs help (like supplies from Target).  Nothing is ever last minute because she stays on top of it.  In part because she learned long ago that she's responsible for her actions -- not me, and not DH.

Our role is to love her, listen to her, support her, experience life with her etc.  Not to be at her beck and call, and not to bail her out with "emergency" Target runs at night because she forgot that she needs poster board or god knows what else for the following morning.[/quote]

Everyone agrees no one needs to be at her beck and call. But to love her, listen to her, support her and experience life with her, the parent actually has to be there. That is what OPs daughter is really saying. She needs a parent present in her life to e experiencing life with her. She needs someone who has te time to listen and support her. All those things take time and if you work to 12 or 1 am, you have no time[/quote]

Exactly.  It's clear there are some posters who want to insist the only problem here is that OP's daughter asked for supplies at the last minute and should have planned ahead.  That's the LEAST of OP's issues.  The actual problem is that neither OP nor her husband are around - ever.  And when they are home, they are immersed in work.  The daughter has learned that she can't rely on her parents, she can't ask to go out to dinner as a family, and she can't ask them to take her to friends' houses.  Why?  Because both parents have *chosen* work over parenting.  And that's the crux of the matter.  Not some stupid poster board run.[/quote]

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