Reply to What is the primary problem in your marriage?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What is the primary problem in your marriage?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If we don't have sex for a while (say, a week) he gets grumpy and pouty and sullen. I am not turned on by grumpy and pouty and sullen..so I don't want to have sex with him at that point. The situation deteriorates quickly.

(I know I could just have sex with him and he'd snap out of it, but then I get bitter about the fact I have to have sex with him to maintain his mood. Don't I offer anything else?)

This all recently came to light in a huge fight and we are working on it. [/quote]

I'm a DH who was this way.  Our drives were mismatched.  I wanted it every day and she wanted once a week - if that.  When we did do it, she usually started with statement like "can we make this quick?" The regular rejection made me resentful. And I did everything I could to remove roadblocks - choreplay, etc.  We finally compromised on Sunday every week and then one day during the week (although that hasn't been consistent).  The good news is that over the 15 years we've been together my drive has died down and we're pretty much in sync.  [/quote]

I am not against scheduling sex if it helps a married couple, but I just don't get the mechanical nature of the Sunday and one weekday approach.[b] Is it that she literally never comes home from a girls' night out raring to go, or just not frequently enough to make you happy?[/b] I am the stronger drive partner as the wife and although I try not to pester my husband more than twice a week, stuff happens and I initiate.[/quote]

My DW has girls nights all the time and never, ever comes home raring to go.  Nor after date night.  The only time she shows some desire for sex before we get started is on vacation without the kids, which happens one, maybe two weekend a year.

I get this is hard to fathom in an otherwise good marriage where no one got out of shape and there is no resentment.  It happens to a lot of women, notice the men on the board who honestly have no idea what happened to the sexual vixen they married (after the kids come along).   I see it happens to sex starved wives too, I have met some and gave into temptation with one.

Sex and money are the top two problems in a marriage, for a reason.[/quote]

My husband is fat and out of shape, and doesn't have much of a drive.  He does much less around the house.  Yet I put aside my resentment because I want to maintain a connection with him, and I just plain  like sex.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics