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[quote=Anonymous]I am sorry you're in the situation, OP.  I really recommend getting off DCUM and seeking counseling on how to best approach this with your children.

I know of two situations where someone had an affair and a child. One was an old friend whose father had at least one child (that they knew of, in her own words) when she and her siblings were high school aged and older.  Their mom welcomed the child into her home because no one wanted to punish the innocent kid and my friend and her sibs tried to be kind to her.  Eventually her parents divorced, but I'm not sure the child was the only catalyst- I think her dad had a long history of affairs.

The second is my brother-in-law; he had at least one affair and child with his secretary, no less.  He and my SIL had 4 kids at the time. I don't know exactly all that happened or how it was explained to their kids, but I know that they had a picture of the child on their wall in their house.  My MIL found out by asking my SIL whose picture that was because it didn't look like either of the other two sons, and SIL apparently very casually said, "Oh, that's BIL's other son."  :shock:   I will say that BIL and SIL divorced many years later, and again, I don't think that child (who was eventually adopted by the AP's new husband) was the catalyst for the divorce.  It was a very troubled and young marriage from the start.

Best of luck to you, OP, and your family.  [/quote]

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