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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. My dad died a few days after Christmas. It was incredibly difficult, he was very, very sick and out of it (morphine), but I do have a sense of peace for him. His body is gone, but I can still feel him with me at times.

We've gone through the difficult stuff. Funeral. Cleaning out the house, selling his home (which just went under contract) and explaining things to the kids who are old enough to realize what's happened. My husband has been a rock during the ordeal, but I can see the toll on myself and my sister. I swear we've aged ten years in one and I've lost so much weight that I've begun drinking ensure (eating has been difficult). My dad was the youngest one of his side of the family, the last living of that generation, so it's weird for me and my sister to be it for that side of the family. It's all surreal.

My mother was unhelpful during this whole thing. After realizing that the man wouldn't likely see New Year's, she opted to take a cruise during Christmas with friends and went to South America. To give us our space in her words. I didn't need space. I needed my mother, but that's a whole another story.

I don't know where the future will go with us, me and her. She skipped the funeral and hasn't done anything, but simply say sorry for your loss when I informed her he passed. I'm angry, but I cannot tease out whether it's the loss of my father or the abandonment of my mother during the difficult times that is fueling it.

She wrote me a very, very long email about her desire to visit, to see the Cherry Blossoms and to do various things around DC. She's begun calling and leaving long messages in a sing-songy voice. She's pretending everything's fine. It's not. I haven't responded, but that's mostly because I don't know what to say...

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