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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can't stop thinking about that Arthur Chu thread about why giving up on this and agreeing to "apologize" to Larson might be worse for Dorland than continuing to pursue a resolution that feels just to her. Even if her odds of getting it are slim.

[twitter]https://twitter.com/arthur_affect/status/1448822223079313444?s=20[/twitter]

I have some events in my past that are similar in some way to what Dorland is going through right now. I chose to let it go. I didn't apologize (I had nothing to apologize for), but I chose to walk away and give up on ever getting justice. I was just tired of feeling terrible all the time and having to relitigate these events, and I was tired of being told what a terrible person I was and how I had deserved to be treated as I was, or that what had happened to me was "normal" or that it was all my fault for being too sensitive and not getting over it. I was just tired. I wanted to spend my life with people who didn't treat me like garbage and stop thinking about this awful thing that had happened and the awful people who had done it.

It's hard. I'd love to be able to say that I have gotten over it and it doesn't impact me anymore. This would not be true. This continues to be something that comes up in therapy. I definitely have trauma from not only the original events that harmed me, but from the subsequent gaslighting and fighting about it. I do sometimes think the aftermath was worse that the original events. The main issue is that when my memory of those events are triggered, it makes me feel the way I did when these people were shaming me and telling me I didn't deserve an apology or to be treated better. Even though I know, intellectually, that everyone deserves to be treated better than that, there is still a part of me that can feel worthless when I am reminded of what happened. Because, like Dorland, I was treated like someone without worth.

And that's why I'm still following this story and why I feel so angry at Kolker and Larson and Ng. [b]The worst part to me is that if Larson just admitted "Yeah, I should not have copied that letter and the way I handled this situation was unethical and very hurtful and I regret it," it could change everything for Dorland. And it would cost her nothing. It would make her look like the bigger person, her powerful friends would forgive her instantly, and everyone would forget about this.[/b] But if Dorland had a record of acknowledgement that what happened to her was wrong, it could save her from having this event define her for the rest of her life. It would be a true kindness.

That Larson can't see this and will never give it is crazy to me. Especially because Dorland would obviously do this in a heartbeat -- it's a lot easier than donating a kidney.[/quote]

I disagree with the bolded. Larson is doubling down because she knows that admitting plagiarism and bullying would cost her EVERYTHING. She knows that her writer friends would drop her like a hot potato because 1) by admitting wrongdoing, she's making THEM look bad too, and 2) once she admits to being a plagiarist, she's toxic. They can't admit to being her friend at that point, and no publisher is going to touch her with a 10 foot pole.

Once Larson sued and all that stuff came out in discovery, she has backed herself into a corner. She either fights, and hope she comes out of it in a way that she can spin it to look like she was vindicated, or she loses her career. There's no in between any more-- that ship sailed a long time ago. So she's never going to apologize to Dawn. Not ever.[/quote]

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