Reply to Please take a moment and look at all of the DH sucks-related threads right now

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Take it from an old timer here - you are busy because you want to be busy. Someone told this to me years ago and I thought they were totally off their rocker. As it turns out, they are right. Being busy is a CHOICE. You can rearrange your life to not be so busy. You don't have to keep up with the Joneses. You don't have to be in the rat race. You are CHOOSING to live your life this way. This takes a very long time to understand. But once you do, you can begin to peel back the layers and make changes that work for you and your family.[/quote]

This is good advice. Anything else you can impart on us? Maybe start a s/o thread? I love getting advice from been there, done that aged people. [/quote]

Haha thanks! I am glad as an "aged" person, I can impart some wisdom.  :wink: Seriously, this is something that took me a very long time to realize. I placed so much importance on being Superwoman - for my husband, my kids, my career, my home, my friendships, etc. etc. etc. Being busy was a hallmark of how Super I was. But I realized it was making me crazy and causing my family so much stress. We have learned to really pull back from the expectations that have been set out and do what is right for our family.

PS I also love getting advice from BTDT people on here - I have truly learned a lot from this forum and I think all of the people for sharing their experiences and perspectives![/quote]

So did you downsize your home and stop working? Curious what the true cure for business, marital resentment and a sucky DH is. [/quote]

No - similar to what a PP said - we worked/saved like crazy from graduation day to the day our first child was born, bought our house in a top school district and have never traded up since then. It was a nice house even then but not outrageously nice like it could've been if we traded up, like many of our friends have since done. We made that house decision willingly so we would be free to travel, aggressively save for retirement/college, life a nice day-to-day lifestyle, etc. Similar to PP, we also drive non-luxury brand cars. [/quote]

But these days, it's hard to find an affordable house in a good school district that would allow you to live more simply. A lot of us aren't working so much to keep up with the Joneses, it's just to pay our bills. [/quote]

It is not actually necessary to live in a house. Expectations are high now.

Also, regarding the difficulty of affording to live in a good school district -- this is how things "progress"  in this kind of economic system. These issues were always vexing those in the bottom socio-economic tiers. The prosperity of the post WWII decades shrank those tiers but was never sustainable. Now those tiers are getting wider and wider, and instead of trying to change the system, most people are responding to the stress by competing to be among the last ones to be swept under. And they are  preparing their kids to live similarly stressed lives.

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