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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^formatting got screwed up

He's not a nonfunctional bump on a log. But what I really want is for him to notice that things need doing and to do them himself without me having to ask him or nag him into doing it. When I notice that chores need doing (such as emptying the dishwasher or taking the trash out to the garbage can, or rinsing out the sink after the kids have brushed their teeth), I usually do it immediately. Why is this too much to ask of men?

The other thing is, we both have demanding careers. When he comes home, he wants to lay around. I want to too but I don't because we have children who need to be fed, bathed, read to, and tucked into bed. We have chores that need doing: clean up after dinner, empty and repack backpacks and lunch boxes, sign son's homework planner, check homework, lay out clothes for tomorrow. He never takes the initiative on any of that stuff. It's like he thinks "I worked a full day, now I can rest." Well I did TOO but SOMEONE needs to do this stuff![/quote]

Well what does he say when you point this out?[/quote]

It gets better for a little while then goes downhill again. But if I were to take the advice in here, I'd resign myself to being a single mother within a marriage and take on all this myself all the time. What's the point?[/quote]

The ONLY way this has worked out for my friends and me with a similar situation is to have a schedule set in stone - so he cooks dinner on Mondays an Thursdays and does bedtime on Tuesdays and Fridays.  You do the opposite days - no trying to "share" duties and hope he helps - he's either on or he's off - and I am either on or off.  Eventually, you can soften a bit, but for now - he needs to be 100% responsible so it happens.[/quote]

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