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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^formatting got screwed up

He's not a nonfunctional bump on a log. But what I really want is for him to notice that things need doing and to do them himself without me having to ask him or nag him into doing it. When I notice that chores need doing (such as emptying the dishwasher or taking the trash out to the garbage can, or rinsing out the sink after the kids have brushed their teeth), I usually do it immediately. Why is this too much to ask of men?

The other thing is, we both have demanding careers. When he comes home, he wants to lay around. I want to too but I don't because we have children who need to be fed, bathed, read to, and tucked into bed. We have chores that need doing: clean up after dinner, empty and repack backpacks and lunch boxes, sign son's homework planner, check homework, lay out clothes for tomorrow. He never takes the initiative on any of that stuff. It's like he thinks "I worked a full day, now I can rest." Well I did TOO but SOMEONE needs to do this stuff![/quote]

Well what does he say when you point this out?[/quote]

It gets better for a little while then goes downhill again. But if I were to take the advice in here, I'd resign myself to being a single mother within a marriage and take on all this myself all the time. What's the point?[/quote]

But if he's as oblivious as you describe, he's sort of a lump on a log. [b]Does he actually see what happens when things aren't done? [/b]

Also, is there a way to take a beat and both get a break you guys walk in the door? I actually made the excuse that I'm getting changed out of work clothes for 20 minutes. DH deals with the kids and they are old enough to talk to him and not bother me. In reality, I sit in silence and meditate and then throw own some sweats and dive in. He actually does a lot of stuff during this time like going through backpacks or starting dinner. [/quote]

I think so but he's lazy, especially at night after work. Like if he comes home to a full, clean dishwasher that needs to be unloaded, instead of emptying it right away as he should, as I want him to, he'll take a few clean dishes out to eat (and sometimes leave the dirty dishes for me in the sink!) because he knows that I will come around huffing and puffing and empty the damn dishwasher because I can't stand for things to be unorganized like that. If he knows that it bothers me, why doesn't he just do it the way I want him to do it? If asked, he will say he was planning to get to it later after he ate (which I doubt, I think that is just a convenient excuse). I do think it is a sign of disrespect. [/quote]

Yeah, not a big to me. Dishes will get emptied and used eventually. This isn't the hill I'd die on.[/quote]

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