Reply to Getting married in a month and I can't decide if I want to take his last name

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Getting married in a month and I can't decide if I want to take his last name "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wanted us to all have the same last name. My husband would have considered taking mine if I'd asked him to.

I grew up with divorced parents and my mom remarried and I lived with them so they were all a family and I had a different last name. It always made me feel just the tiniest bit like an outsider. I a) didn't want to feel that twinge in the family I was building with my husband and b) didn't want my kids to feel it either.

Honestly its NBD. I am a VERY strong, opinionated, female supporting woman (and an atheist democrat in case people think its just conservative thing). Some people would say obnoxiously so but this felt like a silly hill to die on. It is not viewed as succumbing to the patriarchy in today's society, be real. I felt a little sad as my wedding approached and I knew my time as a 'Smith' was coming to an end but six months later it was whatever. Your last name is not your defining characteristic.

If you want to keep it, keep it. If you want to change it, change it. Neither choice defines you as a 'better' or 'more independent' or 'stronger' woman. [/quote]

You can rationalize it all you want, but there are a million "little" ways that our society confers second-class status on women, and this is one.  Is it worth wailing in the streets about, no, but please don't delude yourself that it doesn't.
[/quote]

I am the pp you are responding to.

You are completely off your rail. I had every right to not change my name, I did what I wanted to do and it had nothing to do with being a second class citizen. Take your feminist brigade elsewhere. I explained my reasons and you should respect my choice if you're a real feminist. I made no criticisms of women who keep their name, just that it was not that big a deal one way or the other. [/quote]

Of course it is your choice, but I don't have to respect your choice to be a real feminist.  That line of thinking is bullshit.  The whole idea of the name change is *based* on the idea that women were the property of men...first their fathers, then their husbands.  That is what it is based on.  You cannot dispute this, even if you don't think of it that way yourself (now).[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics