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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I hate to break it to you, but attraction isn't just about a good body or dressing well.  Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there.  In some cases of friends I have observed, they first started dating when they were young.  Chemistry is easier when you are young because you are flooded with hormones and just discovering that aspect of yourself.  They stay together, but then as they get older, one realizes that she/he isn't really attracted to the other (and no amount of working out at the gym can make that happen), but by that point, they are so familiar to each other, so used to each other, that there is no impetus/motivation to break up the relationship and move on.  The stability becomes the attractive feature of the relationship, and the partner who lost attraction just kind of assumes it is a loss of interest in sex in general.

As I said, it's not always about specific physical features.  That's why some men who have beautiful and fit wives aren't necessarily satisfied.  It's something beyond that.  It's chemistry.  Attraction is a complicated thing.  That's why it's so hard -- perhaps impossible -- to force it. [/quote]

OK, this is interesting, because I see this in myself. I hooked up with DH because I was horny and knew he'd be interested. Yes, bad reason. But actual chemistry ... probably not there. I like sex, so that wasn't a problem, but realizing that the reason I was OK with sex earlier in the relationship was because I was younger and was hormonally unstable? THAT sounds reasonable. I still try to force it, because, you know, inertia and life is hard enough to not be having sex on top of it.

So ... it is hard, but maybe possible? ... to force the attraction? I really would like to be attracted to my husband. [/quote]

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