Reply to Other parent called my kid a slur--how should I respond?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here again.  Thank you for the thoughtful responses.  To clear one thing up, I truly believe that the word that was said was "spic" and not "Hispanic."  DD knows she is Hispanic.  She knows Latino/a.  She is learning that some people are white, black, Asian, etc.  But she is very aware of the term Hispanic.  As far as I know, she had never heard spic before.  I'll allow that it's certainly not said as often as I'm sure it once was, but it is definitely in usage these days.  DD asked me "what is a spic?"  I asked her if she meant Hispanic and she was firm that it was "uh-spic" and she didn't know what that was.  Then I asked her how she heard it and got the story about the dad.

After I thought about it, my plan was to reach out to the mom and mention what I heard and see if she knew anything about it.  Like a PP suggested, clue her in but not accuse.  We've communicated on Facebook, so I went on there to message her. From there I saw the dad's page, which is full of shared anti-immigration/"illegals" posts.  So I decided not to contact the mom, and not say anything.  Safe to say DD will not be going over to that house anymore.  I think we will probably still have the child over if DD asks (and her parents allow).

For those of you who questioned whether there was any ill intent, it's very hard to describe.  I'm not one to say "you don't understand because you haven't been there," but really, I feel like those who are minorities understand in a way that white people just can't.  It's hard to describe.  Many new people I get to know are surprised that I "speak English so good" or have multiple college degrees, despite being born in a lowly Central American country.  Or when most people assume DH, a teacher, teaches Spanish, which itself is a subtle burn--what else would he be qualified for? And he would only get that kind of job because he grew up speaking the language (meaning it wasn't the result of talent or work on his part).  New neighbors assume we rent our house, and ask DH where he's from (answer: Maryland).  Those things may not be mean or outwardly racist, but they do make us feel like we are looked down upon, and not fully "like" everyone else.   And of course, participating in the school forums on DCUM which always have many posts ranking schools as undesirable because of a high Hispanic population, which means the kids don't speak English and the parents don't value education.  MY kids are represented in those Hispanic figures, but if these many posters just look at the figures, they will assume my kids are making the school bad.  It's hard not to see the racism everywhere when it truly is (almost?) everywhere.

To say you've never heard the word spic, or hardly ever hear it, well, I'm guessing nobody would ever call you that.  But I've heard it plenty.

Anyway, thank you for the responses, especially those of you who understand how much words can hurt.
[/quote]

Preach sister!!! Sorry that your dd had to experience this so early. I am also a minority and want to shield my kids for as long as I can from how cruel people can be, then blame you for being sensitive :roll:[/quote]

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