Reply to S/O: Ladies - Would you have sex more often

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I think it has more to do with setting the stage for successful seduction. I, for one, can't turn my brain off, so if I still need to do a load of laundry for the daycare bag, make bottles, make lunches and clean the kitchen and I want to be in bed early enough to not be exhausted the next day, I'm not going to be as loose and open to sex. If half of those things are done when I walk in the door then a) i have more time, b) i'm feeling happy and grateful towards my husband, c) i am less stressed. So suddenly getting in the mood and sex is less of another thing on the list I have to do and more of something I all of a sudden have the time and energy to really enjoy. [/quote]

Now, at this point, where enough has been taken off of your "to do" list that you're more open to sex -- does your husband now have to read your mood and know to initiate, or is his doing the chores enough to get you to take the next step and make a move? [/quote]

I am the PP. My DH and I both initiate fairly frequently. I tend to have an 'acceptable length of time' in my head ie, if its been a week then I am focused on making it happen because if I let it go longer then that I tend to get into a rut. If I make sure it happens at least once a week then it frequently will happen more often then that. But my DH and I aren't really keeping score. I used to early on as he is not a frequent initiator but it takes a lot of energy and was souring our relationship.

The biggest sex problems we ever had were in TTC. It was so stressful. I was so relieved when, after we had the baby, sex became fun an enjoyable again. That was a hard time. But neither of us blamed the other for causing the stagnation, so when the stress went away, we were open to being happy again. Resentment is poison to marriage IMO. And once it starts to flow its really hard to reverse the damage.

I guess to get to your original question, I don't know, it depends on the day. Him doing half the work on a regular basis opens the door to a normal and happy and generous sex life. That doesn't mean every day I see him washing dishes I jump his bones. It doesn't mean that every day when I come home he is hanging all over me telling me all the gold-star-bjs he's earned. It means there is a general atmosphere of happiness and attraction and gratitude that leads to regular sexual interactions. [/quote]

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