Reply to What do I need to know about marrying a man with an ex and shared custody of kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, a few things about teenagers:

They are independently mobile.  They will come and go as they please.  If their father's house really is THEIR HOME TOO, they will not and should not need permission to come over or be expected to call first.  Would you expect that of your own child?  So you will have teenagers coming and going (with their friends) at will and have no control over it.  Noise, mess, and eating everything that's not nailed down.

They might want to live with their dad full-time.  If he doesn't allow this, there will be hell to pay or he may lose the relationship entirely.

They are incredibly expensive.  What is the college savings situation?  Does your boyfriend fully understand his financial obligations?

Teenage boys (and tweens) smell terrible.  I mean it.  Even if they shower a lot.  I don't know why, but that's how it is, and it's unbearable.[/quote]

Their father's house is also his wife's house and anyone NOT living in the home needs to call first. They may be entertaining or having friends or family from out of town.  Seriously no control....ha...nope not going to happen if they don't live there and yes they need to call first if they are coming for dinner or staying overnight. If they want to change the living arrangements that would be up to DH and DW.   As for college, there are loans and scholarships too.[/quote]

If it's 50/50, they ARE living in the home.  Just as much as they're living in their mother's home.  Or maybe OP's boyfriend is one of those divorced dads who likes to pretend it's 50/50 but really it isn't.

Good luck forcing angry teenagers onto a custody arrangement that they hate.  They will make everyone miserable and enjoy it.[/quote]

With 50/50 there's still one primary home. The teens don't get to decide the visitation, this allow everyone to be able to plan.  I have a lot of family visiting from out of state so dh's kids wouldn't be able to come at those times because we wouldn't have room. [b]We have our own lives and my family wants to visit with our kids, not his frankly. This works best for everyone.[/b][/quote]

Thanks for just undoing all the solid work that good stepmoms have been putting into this thread. Way to go, ya fucked us. [/quote]

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