Reply to An immigrants musings on the SAHM vs working mom debate

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm Pakistani but born in the US and OP, I think your characterization of Pakistan is really off. Medical schools in Pakistani and 1/2 women. Women work in all parts of Pakistan. I know of no woman there (cousins, friends) who is not doing exactly as she wishes - among my cousins, one has s Ph.D. In economics and works for the world bank, 2 doctors, 1 designer, 2 run micro loan charities... You seem to have only seen a sliver of Pakistani society.

I suggest you bring up such sweeping generalizations more thoughtfully on an anonymous board; if I didn't know better, I would think there were no working women in Pakistan.[/quote]

OP here. I agree, but I was trying to demonstrate what a privilege it is to be able to work because many women in our society cannot and that is a fact. Of course there are women who do, and who come from families who foster that culture and I am part of such a family. 
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OP, Based on your own cultural bias think you're still still stubbornly missing the point about choice.

The problem in this kind of capitalist / work at all cost society is that the actual "privilege" of choice is becoming exactly that - a privilege for the select few who can afford the choice based on their financial standing. It's the flip side of what your experiences are - here, many women are shackled to working outside the home based on the financial need to do so, and their choice to stay home is no less a fantasy than the women you're describing from Pakistan. In addition, due to longstanding societal norms, despite working outside the home, in many homes, the burden of child rearing still falls predominantly as a "female role", so women are increasingly carrying both working outside and bearing most responsibility inside the home. Now, that's not in every case, but much like not ALL women in Pakistan are forced to stay home - the choice itself is simply not attainable for many families. [/quote]

Sorry PP at 1000 again - also, the "choice" is met with a lot of bias if a parent DOES stay at home. It's seen as indulgent and not really working towards a greater good (case in point: your own post about "contributing").

Women here can't win either way, and it's a really sad state of affairs. We're really no further ahead in actually making change when we are damned if we do, and damned if we don't. It's no choice at all, and that's the problem.

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