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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Good morning,

I had to ask him last night.

1. He said I had specifically requested for him to get more of the same condoms and he took one with him to be sure he purchased the right one.  He is sloppy and possible that he forgot it in the car.

2. He also suggested that maybe the condoms belong to whoever had access to his car when he was in an accident late last year (SUV totaled last summer, car accident in November/December).  The car was in the shop for almost a month.

3. Trojan sells condoms in pack of 3, 10, 12, 26 or 36 counts in gold foils. I pointed out that he purchased a pack for us (26 or 36), we used 4 or 5 and there's 14 left.  Where are the rest?  He doesn't know.

4. This morning, I asked for access to his individual credit card login.  He goes bowling once a week, in the past he charged it to his individual credit card but there's only one transaction since the beginning of December. He never uses cash except where credit is not accepted.

I know that if he wants to hide, I wouldn't be able to find anything because he has Google phone numbers for everything (online purchases, home improvement contractors, our tenants).  I don't understand why he would be leaving condoms for me to find like this.  Three in the arm rest  has the same expiration date as the other 14 in our nightstand, one matches the other in the glove compartment.  These and the lube (unused) are under a pile of crumbled napkins/receipts.[/quote]

Good for you for confronting him and not stewing about this and driving yourself nuts.  Unfortunately, his response sucks.

1.  That's actually sort of remotely plausible...I can totally see my DH taking something like that on an errand and then leaving it in the car for months and forgetting about it.  (We have messy cars.)  But the lube and the other condoms really nix that excuse.

2.  Yeah, totally lame excuse.  Aside from in Seinfeld episodes, this doesn't happen.  And not with a brand that just coincidentally matches with his regular brand that you guys use.

3.  That's pretty darn fishy.  (It also suggests that you guys don't have much sex yourselves, which would fit the profile of someone cheating.)

4.  I'm not sure what you're concluding here -- either that he has another credit card that you don't know about, or that he's not really at bowling when he says he is.  If you suspect another credit card, you could always have him get a free credit report for himself (that's the legit way) or pretend to be him and get his free credit report and see if he has another line of credit that you don't know about.

I'm the PP who wrote that I'd suggest to him that you could forgive him but only if he tells you the truth now...if he turns you into a crazy sleuth to find out the truth (which you will find, eventually) I'd say that's unforgiveable.

I talked to my DH last night and he said he would 100% assume that I was cheating if he found condoms in my car.  So I think it's a reasonable suspicion.  And if he's a reasonable person and has nothing to hide, he should be willing to work with you to assuage your reasonable concerns.  I would say to him, "Do you have any email addresses or Google phone numbers or any other accounts that I don't know about or have access to?"  Make sure he discloses everything to you, so if you find something hidden later, you'll know it's not for legit uses.  (My ex had numerous email accounts he used for things that were out of the bounds of our stated commitment.)

Good luck, OP.  My heart breaks for you.  
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