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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The responses here are absolutely insane, over-the-top paranoid.

This woman has one, [b]one[/b] night a week in which to get away from her four children under 5. She spends the majority of it driving to, from, and attending a workout class, and has explained that she hangs out with friends she's made in the class afterwards. This is probably the only thing that keeps her sane, after a week of wiping dirty butts, watching Caillou, and otherwise doing mindnumbingly boring childcare tasks. And yet her husband won't let her have this little bit of time. No, he and almost everyone else here thinks she must be balling her instructor.

OP, I work out every day, at one of four different studios. If I learned that my husband had [i]called[/i] any of them to verify, I would a) expect them not to divulge any information, since how do they know it's not a stalker, and b) rip my husband a new one. If he showed up in the middle of a class, I would a) expect them not to let him in, since classes are solely for the participants, not for gawkers and paranoid husbands, and b) rip my husband a second new one. But you know what? He doesn't do that, because we have something called trust. What has your wife done that makes you distrust her? Do you verify your location at every single moment of the day to her? Would you allow her to track you by cell phone?

If you trust your wife, for god's sake. don't take any of this horrible advice about private investigators and cell phone tracking. If you don't trust her, divorce her, because your marriage is already over.[/quote]

I do not verify her information everywhere she goes. This is the first time she has gotten weird with me about something like this. So I guess I'm just following suit.

Contrary to how it might sound, I wouldn't say its a strain on our marriage. From our conversations, I just think she may be irritated that I'm concerned about her bruises. Like she's a little girl who can't handle herself or something. Regarding the gap in time, I also think she may be simply f***ing with me, and playing the long game in the process.  She can be a "tester," and sometimes I comply.

She could very easily be out with friends. They might go to a restaurant after class and drink wine all night. Thats fine. But why not just say that? When I am out, I generally share what I'm doing. She doesn't know the details, like what bar or who exactly, but she may know that I am out with "some friends." Is that asking a lot? Am I a demon for wanting this courtesy?

[/quote]

OP, she's only acting weird because you're being very stalkerish about the whole thing.  You asked her what she did on her nights off.  she said triathalon.  you kept asking and trying to verify (because of the bruises) and she finally told you the exact name, place and event she participated in.

That should have been enough for you.  If you were only concerned with her bruises.  that's it.  You actually calculated the time it takes to get there, the length of training, changing clothes, whatever, and now are asking basically what she does with her "free time."  She knows you go "out with some friends" but don't share with whom or where.  That's what she shared with you.  She is out with some friends (after the training) but you don't know with whom or where.  What's the difference?

If you really trust her, why can't you give her the benefit of the doubt and trust that she probably goes out for food or drinks after the workout.  It's her ONLY NIGHT OUT for the week.  She want's to get in a workout and an evening out with friends.  And she DID say she is hanging out with friends after the workout.  why are you saying "why not just say that" [/quote]

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