Reply to Do you tell the wife that her wonderful husband cheated on her for two years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am one of the previous posters. While some may find out about their spouses infidelity on their own in a way that allows them to cope overtime and do thoughtful decision-making, there's no reason to believe that that will be the case. This whole thread seems to post women in such a negative, week light. Are we actually to believe that women are so incapable of dealing with reality that they will allow their life choices to be holy impacted by weather another person knows their husband is fooling around? That it is more of a risk that a wife knows someone in the community is aware of his screwing around then the actual damage done by the affair and his potentially leading his wife? Are women really that fragile? For my part, I am responsible not only for myself and my husband, but also for our children. While I may not like the truth, living in Lala land doesn't help when your husband may be doing something that will burn your whole family, adults and children alike.

This is how people get away with cheating. Cheating, planning to leave their spouses, controlling all the information flow, potential he hiding assets, leaving when strategically most beneficial to the cheater, and gaslighting the victim spouse. I'll because we don't want dear Ms. Lala land to take her head out of the sand and confront reality. This is truly one of the more shocking threads, more surprising than strong views are pretty much anything else!  [/quote]

I think this business of the wife wanting to save face in the community rather than know that her husband is cheating is rather old fashioned and it does sound weak.  But maybe it's another more "proper" form of an open marriage? Don't ask, don't tell?  I don't understand it, it's certainly not for me and I don't think it would be for most women.  But, yeah, there is always the chance that the person being told is one of these women who would prefer to believe in an alternate (and false) reality.  As long as they don't know, everything is right in the world.

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