Reply to Update: New nephews not fitting into family dynamic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous](1) the party is for your dad, not for his son-I'm-law's brother's step kids. Your dad has been extremely generous to the new wife and her kids and they've treated him terribly in return, turning his summer home and his family tradition into a stressful waste. They don't have the right to impose on him any further. No guest has the right to destroy someone else's special day but this goes double for a near stranger. OP is not responsible for this-  her selfish SIL is.

(2) SIL and her children will not be family members for long. BIL is a lovely guy standing up for this woman as a good husband does for a spouse, but that doesn't mean he's happy. On the contrary, he is obviously miserable and sometime soon the fact that his children are being abused will be the breaking point.  This marriage is going to end.

Which is why

(3) there is no further role for you to play here. Let your husband continue these painful conversations with his brother. He's going to have to be the one who picks up the pieces when this falls apart. He's also probably the only one who can help his own brother find a way forward. Let the SIL sit with the fact that even if it hurts her, her kids need to be excluded because their presence makes others miserable and other people do indeed matter. Those kids don't stand a chance and that marriage doesn't stand a chance unless and until  they all see that something has to change.

[/quote]

Writing on wall.  I'd say your analysis of the situation is spot on.[/quote]

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