Reply to S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care

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Reply to "S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]FFS, why is everyone getting so worked up? OP really muddled the waters by making this a childcare issue. The MIL is passive aggressive for dropping hints about living together, but OP is just as bad for snarking back that they're spending so much on childcare. The MIL doesn't want to do childcare, and that is her right.

The real issue is that OP doesn't like the fact that her ILs haven't done any retirement planning, which is a legit concern. OP's husband needs to try again to get them to talk about it -- do they have any IRA's? Do they have health insurance that will carry through? Do they have life insurance? Long-term care insurance? Do they want to stay in their house, or move to assisted living? AARP has some good resources, both for people over 50 and for those who are trying to help them.

If they still rebuff all of the husband's efforts to get them to address the issue, then that is on them. In the course of these (hopefully respectful) conversations, he can repeat firmly that he and OP will absolutely not be able to have them come and live with them. Put it in a letter if it's easier. Make sure the other brothers are aware that you are having these conversations.

It's not easy to talk about these issues, even for families who have resources and a good plan. But for the love of all things, try to separate the issue of whether or not they've helped enough with childcare and how the MIL spends her time. That just sounds so petty, IMO.[/quote]

If they haven't done any retirement planning why would they have IRAs, Longterm Care Ins, etc?  Hell what are IRAs for?

These folks are not old.  They need to figure out what the heck they are going to do about their situation.  Reverse mortgage maybe?[/quote]

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