Reply to S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^^I am skyways amazed at the tunnel vision of women on this board. Op's mil is of another generation where women do not pursue caterers in the way women do today. Op is holding her mil accountable for choices consistent with her time. Compassion and understanding seem yo be jacking in today's women. Pretty sad.[/quote]

There is a difference between a woman "of that generation" who believed it was her job to be the caretaker of the family - and did so by really doing all she could for her kids, scrimping and saving and sometimes going without, so that her children and family could benefit - and those like OP's MIL who felt entitled to not work, nor do anything to help her son with college or even help him now in a non-monetary way like doing a little childcare to give him and OP a date night once in a while.

Moving in with OP's family needs to be off the table completely.  Before OP and her dh give them a cent, MIL and FIL need to come clean with their financial situation.  OP and dh can help them make arrangements to sell their home, find a small condo and then see what's left after social security.  Enough to get by?  Good, they're done.

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These in-laws are not old!  Hell, I'm 50 with two kids still at home.  Why on earth does a 59 year old person need so much assistance?  Let them sell their own house and figure out what they can afford on their own income.  I'm just baffled as to why this is all landing smack in Op's lap?  WTH?  Maybe Op assumed that they were living the way they were living because they were planning a *massive* downsizing of their lifestyle in older age.  How the hell was Op supposed to know that they were planning all along to move into HER house so that she could support them?[/quote]

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