Reply to I'm jealous and angry my ex-husband's new wife is a better mother and wife than I am

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

OP here. I think what drives me nuts is that she also works full time, and has double the number of kids in her house than I do, and she is so much more ... everything than I am. She works out regularly, cooks dinners every night (real dinners, not mac & cheese dinners), always has patience, isn't too tired, never seems frazzled, etc. She is exactly the type of mother I wanted to be but failed spectacularly at.

Here's an example: she sent me an email on October 1 saying what my kids want to be for Halloween, is that okay with me, and if so would I like to make the costume or would I like her to do it with the kids? (I never made my kids costumes - DH always just went to the store and bought them.) Also, she will of course send me lots of pics, and she's hosting a Halloween party on Saturday and I'm welcome to drop by if I like. (I had them for Halloween last year and this isn't my weekend.) And if I show up at this party, she will have my favorite drink and have prepped the kids to give me my favorite candies from their candy stash. To her, this is not going out of her way at all. [/quote]

Oh man, women like this are the WORST.  I feel you, OP.[/quote]

Why are women like this the worst? I'm seriously asking because I've read this entire sad thread (I feel sad for you OP) and I could be the "new wife" in this. I am just wired to be busy, to go out of my way to make others comfortable and happy. I like to be on top of things and make great memories, etc. Why is this the worst?[/quote]

[b]Women like this can be the worst because their fawning can actually make some people uncomfortable if they are the less demonstrative type. [/b]It can also unbalance the relationship and make the other person feel like they have to spend all their time doing Pinterest crafts to equal them. And some of these women clearly are doing it for the accolades.

That said OP is clearly depressed and needs help. [/quote]

So you are saying people like the PP should stop being who they are so that insecure people will feel better about themselves. Is that what you are saying?[/quote]

Right. I should stop being the type of mom that I naturally am because it makes others feel bad about their abilities. It's just easy for some people. I'm a creative type and I have good time management skills and don't procrastinate. It's not hard for me. In no way do I do anything for an accolade or to diminish the effort another mother made for her child. [/quote]

If you refuse to understand that sometimes your gestures and whatnot can be unpleasantly smothering to some people, you are pretty out of touch. Go ahead with your brownies but try to be a little more sensitive to the fact that not everyone likes to socialize the same way you do. It's telling that you apparently don't even understand what I am getting at. I bet you were the type to be on the gym decorating committee for jr prom and just couldn't understand why anyone would not think it was maaaagical. [/quote]

Wow. I feel bad for you. I mean that.[/quote]

Ha, well, not everyone wants to live in a Pinterest fantasy land. It is funny but typical of your sort not to understand that. But don't worry -- I don't want to hang out with you; I want to get Martinis with my likewise cynicsl and somewhat lazy friends who would rather chat in a bar than waste time making picture books. [/quote]

I get to live in my "pinterest fantasy land" and still manage to get in a date night a week with my DH and lunch with my friends. Imagine that. [/quote]

Exactly. Why does it have to be one or the other.[/quote]

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