Reply to I've been unknowingly dating a transgender man

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Reply to "I've been unknowingly dating a transgender man"

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[quote=Anonymous]For starters, it's "trans woman" not "a man." Feminine pronouns. That's not "the PC police" - it's calling a person what she wants to be called. If you're not an asshole, you'll respect that, particularly if you're interested in keeping your moral high ground.

Second, you engaged in consensual romantic activity with this person. Whether you would've done so knowing her biological sex is fairly irrelevant to whether it was consensual, in exactly the same way that the PP referencing the married person lying issue. Your date concealed important information from you, it's true. You are entirely justified in being upset about that. But what you're talking about is regretting an experience, not being forced.

Third, I have an issue with the idea that the trans person is obligated to disclose their gender identity on date one. I can generally agree that prior to sexual activity, disclosure would be ethical. But also I think that the trans person is allowed to get to know a date and decide whether they trust the date or not. It sounds like this woman handled the situation poorly, and I'm sorry for the OP that he is having to deal with this.

Fourth, there are no legal consequences for lying to your date. Outing this person would make you an asshole. If you want to make your anger known, you could tell her that the way and timing that she chose to disclose this important thing made you feel used and manipulated and that for her own safety, she should consider being more forthcoming in the future. But really, what you should do is break it off and move on and that's it. [/quote]

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