Reply to Vent. I'm a slave.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So basically you want him to do 100% of his job AND 50% of your job as well. And you seriously think this is fair and reasonable. Get over yourself already and DO YOUR JOB.[/quote]

Oh so she is suppose to work 7 days a week? While he has two days off? When does she get a break?[/quote]

Exactly.  A SAHM means that she does the work that needs to be done at home while DH is at work. [b] So let's say he's gone 8am-6pm every day.  Those are her working hours too, Mon-Friday.[/b]  ANYTHING that falls outside of those working hours (dinner, nighttime wakeups, illness, weekends) are SPLIT evenly between the two parents.  This is not that hard to understand.  It's called being a parent and a homeowner.

OP, I'm sorry, this sounds shitty.  My advice would be to bring it up to him in a non-charged moment.  Pick a calm time and just say you'd like to talk to him.  Explain you feel taken advantage of.  Use the cleaning up after dinner example.  Ask him how you can work together to make sure everything gets done.  He most likely has NO IDEA how much stuff you do.  Write out a list.  Show him what you spend your time doing during the day as part of your "job" and make it clear that there's stuff you guys have to split.  Hopefully he's receptive and not defensive.  If he's defensive try to keep things calm.  Try not to criticize and make it sound like a team effort.  "What can WE do together to make things run smoothly".  That kind of thing.  It might take several conversations, but the key is to STAY CALM.[/quote]

But why isn't dinner one of those things that can be done during the day?  I was on maternity leave with a 3 year old and a newborn.  After the first crazy month or so, I just cooked dinner during a nap and the kitchen was generally clean by dinnertime.  I am back to work now, and I do all the cooking on the weekend, generally it's just loading the dishwasher during the week.  If you're home all day, You should be able to cook and clean up from making dinner during the day at least some days(barring some special needs or other commitments). After dinner cleanup shouldn't be more than putting plates in the dishwasher and wiping the table off.   I can see splitting bedtime, but if her "work hours" are 8-6 why shouldn't laundry and cooking get done in that time? [/quote]

Unless you are making casseroles every night how is this possible? I make steaks, hamburgers, steam veggies, make rice, etc just before we eat. I'm not making steak or burgers during nap and then reheating in the microwave. [/quote]

Well, not every night.  But I make enough rice to last a few days (1 pot to clean, or 1 rice cooker to clean, instead of 3).  Burgers don't require a lot of pots.

Casseroles and slow cooker stuff a couple times a week should cut the workload.  I also tend to cook a lot of curries, casseroles, and stews because I am a WOHM and I don't like doing a lot of cooking right when I get back from work.  I save the dishes that must be made right at dinnertime for weekends when there is less rush.  I also clean up as I go and have gotten more efficient.  Cut the veggies, set them aside, cut meat on the same cutting board, then cutting board goes directly into the dishwasher.  Before I even sit down to eat, I can put a skillet in the dishwasher.

Some other easy things - I made a thai herb marinade with basil, cilantro, mint, fish sauce, garlic and ginger.  I made enough for four uses and stack them in the freezer.  putting some thawed marinade and chicken thighs in a dish in the morning takes two minutes.  I bake them in the oven, then broil some asparagus when the chicken is out of the oven.  One pyrex dish (or wire rack if I went that route, lining the pan itself with foil) goes into the dishwasher.  And that pretty much takes care of cleanup.   (Asparagus is broiled on a sheet pan lined with foil, but the sheet pan goes into the dishwasher if it gets messy, too).

I am just saying that there are ways to shift some of the work to earlier in the day so the evenings aren't a shitshow.  My DH travels for work 4 nights a week and I am really tired in the evening, so I shift as much work as possible to weekends and daytime. [/quote]

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