Reply to DD 16 is involved in a sexual relationship

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "DD 16 is involved in a sexual relationship"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 16 year old DD has a had a boyfriend (that we like very much) since September.  I finally asked and she told me that they were in a sexual relationship but not to worry because they went to her doctor (gyno) together and she is on the pill.  They have sex in her room.

Okay - yikes!  I'm very glad she is responsible and went to the doctor with her boyfriend to get on birth control but...  my daughter is having sex while DH and I are downstairs watching TV!!!

[b]DD is a top student, always ranked first or second in her class, and an accomplished ballet dancer.  I have always been very lax with curfews/rules because she has always been so responsible.  [/b]This sex thing just threw me for a loop.  [/quote]

Yet another parent who raised her child with zero morals, but hey, as long as she makes top grades and is "an accomplished ballet dancer" (oh, wow!!!), that is all that matters.

Thanks for the warning to this mother of young girls. Yours is an end result I would consider a complete failure.[/quote]

You and your parents are the only moral failures here. The sad part is you'll never understand why.[/quote]

Oh, really? Then why don't you explain it to me, in your great wisdom. Yes, if my 16 year old was having sex (IN MY HOME, WHILE I WAS DOWNSTAIRS IGNORING HER WHILE I'M WATCHING TV), you'd better believe, that is a complete moral failure on the part of the parent.[/quote]

Sex itself is not a moral issue. It's a natural biological and social function.  It's the how, who, when about how each person treats the other within that sexual relationship that is a moral issue.  OP's daughter is approaching this responsibly.  If she were having sex with a much older man, or casual sex with multiple partners, or sex within an emotionally abusive or manipulative relationship, that would be entirely different.

[/quote]

NP.  Sex is a normal biological function - absolutely.  So, does that mean 12 is old enough to have sex?  Hey, what about 10?  It is a *moral* decision as to when it is appropriate for a person to have sex.  If it's so normal to have sex at 16, then why do so parents insist their daughters have an abortion if they get knocked up at 16?  Why can't it be normal to be a parent at 16?  After all, the biological reason to have sex is to have babies.[/quote]

I think there is a huge difference between a 12 year old and a 16 year old having sex.  I personally don't think a 12 year old has the maturity to truly consent to sex. And nonconsesual sex is against my morals. So I would not condone or allow that.  The average age for sex is 17, so the OP's kid is that far behind. And instead of having sex in secret and without protection, she thought it out beforehand and got contraception. And she's been open about it with her mother. And when women do that, they are much less likely to get pregnant.

I mentioned that sex was both a biological function as well as a social function, and the reality is most people in romantically intimate relationships have sex. 95% of America is ok with premarital sex. They differ on the when, how, and who.  As far as having a baby at 16, that's one of the biggest predictors of poverty, and therefore it's prudent to wait until you are older to have a child.  I don't know any parents who have "forced" their daughters to have abortions, and that's illegal anyway.  The OP and her daughter may wish to discuss if the pill if the most effective birth control for her. Maybe an IUD or something else is better.  She also has the opportunity to discuss the emotional impact of romantic and sexual relationships with her daughter, if she hasn't already done so.  It's not my ideal age. I'd prefer my son wait til college (since people are asking about moms of boys), but it is reality for many. Best to be smart, prepared, respectful of self and others when it happens.  And open communication with the parents is one of the best ways to guide kids in these complex issues.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics