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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I didn't read the thread, but I can tell you as the wife who did become fat and I'm sure my exH would have said I was lazy, I wasn't. I was miserable in a marriage, depressed, unhappy, [b]I had lost sense of who I was as a woman, as a wife[/b], I felt utterly helplessly miserable. And he was the reason. He was so mentally abusive and withholding, I had no idea at the time. For me though, I did go to the gym, and I did try and it didn't work. But for him, he'd put me down. He'd say I wasn't training hard, and I wasn't eating small enough. As he'd devour an entire pizza, alone and remain a super skinny guy. LONG story short, when we divorced, I lost 75 pounds. Without even trying. Because my inner woman was no longer put down, shamed, criticized. I was desired by others, I felt pretty, and my body just started responding. I think if she's depressed, [b]she can feel your judgement and it's not helping. If you really do love her, I'd make her feel pretty, I'd go on walks with her as "dates" so you don't put her down. I'd get her a gorgeous lingerie set. I'd make her feel loved and desirable. If that doesn't work, then that is on her. But don't underestimate the value of feeling awful, and sensing your spouse feels that way about you too[/b]. [/quote]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this.  Thank you thank you thank you.    I hope you have found love and joy in this short life![/quote]

Yeah, I can't believe this lady got flamed.  This is so clearly the answer OP.  Don't be this PP's ex-husband.  Make your wife feel beautiful and loved even as she is now and she will want to look good for you again.[/quote]

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