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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  The family very much has an "every man for himself" mentality.  This is an understatement.  I have never seen anything like it, so understandably, I am at a loss for the next "adventure".  It is a little overwhelming.  And underwhelming, at the same time.  I suppose I procrastinate to not deal with it, sometimes.

Perhaps I am a little at a loss for words or actions because it is hard to believe DH came from such a family.  Perhaps I am in denial.

The mentality carries over, and is most evident at the dinner table.  As PP mentioned, but could not believe herself, the food is in fact gone in under five minutes.  There is never enough food, ever.  It is just a way of life for them that they have accepted.  Again, I have never seen this before (I saw his family), and it took me a number of years to make sure it was not some odd "coincidence".  Many years later, it most certainly is not.  It is just the way they live.  Which is exactly the opposite of what I, and I reasonably presume, most people, are accustomed to.  It is rather primitive behavior.  Jabs at every turn, not just with food.  But that is another post.

As for sticking up for myself, ITA.  I do not speak up to these people often, I choose my battles.  They are the least considerate people I have ever met - yet I am the bad guy for pointing it out.  "How dare *I* speak up, DH would never do that "to" us."  Funny.  Classic mind games.  I don't have a lot of time for that, frankly. So when Christmas comes around, I remember that it is not going to be all that great, if I let it be so.  This year, I decided to ask for a different approach than "playing nice".  As clearly, that gets me nowhere with people like this.

I am desperate for a resolution to this, as it involves my DC.  Thank you to those who have been helpful.  Maybe if I understood it better, I could explain it better.  It is baffling to be immersed in it.  Maybe I need another degree, this time in psych! [/quote]

Just accept the crazy and eat before you go. It will puncture MILs little power trip when you push the crumbs around the plate and say, just so full now. Actually, she may not even notice. But food games are ridiculous and very painful on a Holiday.[/quote]

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