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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I haven't read through the pages and pages, but I feel your pain.  My DH just quit his job one day to go back to school without consulting me.  He never got a job after graduating and is now a SAHD.  I married and had kids with someone that was a working adult who had his crap together and had goals and even considered whether I should be SAH, which I expressed a clear desire to do and am more capable of doing (not because I'm a woman, just because I'm better at the tasks involved).  I wouldn't have done that with someone who barely keeps up with the household on a good day.  I was mad for years about it but finally have just made my peace.  Harboring the resentment does no one any good - I chose a good guy/poor partner but I'm in it for a long haul so I focus on the good guy part.  To be frank, I doubt your wife will ever understand the pressure she put on you or how much it hurt not to be consulted about a choice that you are negatively impacted by every day.[/quote]

This sounds like me, except for the made my peace part. How did you get there?[/quote]

I lowered my expectations an infinite amount and decided that, at the end of the day, I won't break up my family as long as this remains sustainable financially.  We've been married 15 years, and both of us have changed.  Part of marriage is trying to appreciate the new person on the journey.  Sadly, adopting this view also means I generally don't count on him for anything that is important because I'll be disappointed or believe things he says about seeking employment.  I also no longer expect him to understand how I feel about the issue, so I don't bring it up.  If he is depressed or feels like less of a man (one of his reasons for being out of work so long), that is on him after this many years.  If we can muddle through and he continues to be a good parent, I'll suck it up and keep trying to focus on the pleasantries of the day to day instead of dwelling on things (and a person) I cannot change.  Some days are easier than others.[/quote]

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