Reply to "Party girl" reputation

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to ""Party girl" reputation"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I'm the person who posted the question to High-and-Mighty.  I would call taking drugs or drinking neither good or bad, in and of itself.

It was not clear that the OP was "drinking to excess"...that whole assumption has kind of wormed it's way in and changed things.  No, I do not believe that intoxication - either from alcohol or any other drug - is, in and of itself, a "bad" activity, or necessarily "harmful" (to self or others).  I know a shit-ton of highly functional, highly successful people who smoke weed and get a little drunk regularly.  They don't abuse their children (or other personal relationships) or cause office drama or fail to perform in other aspects of life.

I recognize that there are Al-Anon and AA and NA types (all of whom share a particular brand of rigid, circular thinking) who will vehemently disagree with me and I will never persuade them.  These people argue that "one drop" is the same as being at the end of the slippery slope down in the septic tank.  I don't expect to persuade them.  I personally don't choose to live in a black-and-white world.

In addition to being surrounded by highly successful role models, who poured me a few, I've also had plenty of dysfunctional substance abusers in my life.  I've also had a few dysfunctional and emotionally dysregulated teetotalers, and you know what the common thread was? (Hint: not substance abuse!)  It was being head cases.  I'm sorry this will hurt the fee-fees of the headcases who want to blame it all on demon rum (or some other external locus of control - $deity forbid a human should be responsible, we are all, afterall powerless, aren't we? Before some kind of "Higher Power", right? Talk about magical thinking!).

[b]Fascinating, and inaccurate. Not everyone who thinks getting drunk leads to stupid decisions thinks that "one drop" is the demon. Nor does every alcoholic use AA principles in order to quit drinking. Generalize much?[/b]

[quote]In this particular case, the OP is complaining that it has damaged her reputation at work and is in the way of being seen as relationship material.  So yes, the damage seems clear.[/quote]

In this particular case, a troll has constructed a just-so story, one which sounds very much like the kind of story a real person wouldn't post online, but instead one which represents the fantasy imagination of someone who judges a "party girl".  For all we know, the real "party girl" on whom this [b]fictional archtype[/b] is based isn't suffering negative consequences and is perfectly happy.  Jealous, insecure shitbirds, male and female, lurk everywhere.  To some degree, we should be discreet in our lives because we are, unfortunately, surrounded by people like this, sometimes people like this in positions of professional power over us.  On the other hand, we can't let these puritan scold shitbirds rule our lives - that means subjecting ourselves to the tyranny of the lowest (emotional IQ, common denominator, take your pick).

[b]Nice language. But people can judge your actions without being jealous or insecure. You earn your reputation based on your actions. If you don't like your reputation, then change your behavior. You can claim that that is "tyranny" as much as you like, but it doesn't change the fact that people judge others all the time. As proven by your rather harsh judgment of anyone who disagrees with you on this (made-up) thread.[/b]

A serious question: Have you ever watched Rashomon?

My original challange was to people who "call them out on it".  What fucking business is it of anyone - anyone not directly involved - to be "calling out" others on their behavior?  Glass houses, glass houses.  [b]The vast majority of people "calling out" others are merely doing so to tear others down in an effort to make themselves feel better.[/b]  [/quote]

[b]I get that you find relativism based on easygoing individual morality is appealing. However, as you mature, you will see that a shared moral framework is a communal value - one that helps society function. And I say this as a political liberal. It's one thing to advocate for people expressing their sexuality freely. It's another thing to say that that means kiddie porn is okay. It's one thing to say your body is yours and it is no one's business how many partners you have. It's another thing to say "go out, get drunk off your ass, and screw around, regardless of whether your co-workers think you are sleazy." It surprises me that so many people are reluctant to acknowledge the difference.[/b][/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics