Reply to When did you decide it was time for an affair and did it help your marriage?

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Reply to "When did you decide it was time for an affair and did it help your marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]All of this assumes that her intellectual thoughts about sex line up with her body's feelings about sex and that she actually knows what she wants. Times per week? Intellectually, she thinks once a week would be good. Her body is probably in the mood once a month. Result is sex twice a month, one of which is any good. I ask her what turns her on. She says she doesn't know. She "wants to want to have sex."

I initiate more than she does, but we pretty much only have sex the times she initiates. Results in me initiating a lot less.[/quote]

So you asked her directly about frequency and she answered once per week?
Are you OK with that number? This is a very important point that you must both agree on.

You did not really answer my questions.
If course if you have already "checked out" there is not much point.
But on the off chance that you'd rather have a satisfying sexlife with your current wife, please go back and re-read my post then answer the questions. I have some relevant experience with this topic, but I'd rather not waste my time if you don't care.[/quote]

Not the OP. I've had the frequency conversation with my wife. She answered once a week. I'm happy enough with that number if it actually happened. [b]I've asked her what I can do to make her enjoy sex more. She says she doesn't know.[/b] She won't do morning sex, and she won't do sex until after the kids are in bed. She doesn't like being woken up for anything. That leaves me an initiation window of about 9-10:30. That window is only open while she is awake (she falls asleep on the couch a lot) and if she doesn't preemptively announce that she's tired, bloated, or otherwise not feeling good. That window will also close if I inadvertently do something to make her unhappy in the preceding 12 hours. [/quote]

Sorry to hear this.  I have been in this situation too.  There is nothing worse than being in a relationship where there is a big sexual imbalance AND the low drive person makes zero effort to get in the mood or tell their partner what they need from them to get in the mood.

You are a saint if you have remained faithful.[/quote]

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