Reply to When did you decide it was time for an affair and did it help your marriage?

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Reply to "When did you decide it was time for an affair and did it help your marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Slight tangent - is there value to forcing an explicit rejection to an initiation? Does that compel the low drive spouse to recognize the problem in a productive way that avoiding the initiation does not? [/quote]

OP here.  I think there is a huge value in explicit rejection, so long as it is met with more frequent acceptance.  I think Dan Savage mentions this as the best way to navigate high v. low drive.  If you are not in the mood, you can still spare some time to lovingly help your spouse get off, tell them how you can't wait for them to have sex with you later in the week, hold, touch, kiss, etc.  Then really do go after it later in the week when you are in the mood.  You can also reject on occasion if you have a headache, etc.  The idea being that the high drive spouse can't demand full on sex everytime, but the low drive spouse can't insist on their frequency either, i.e. compromise.  I don't think anyone has a problem with occasional rejection for legitimate reasons.[/quote]

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