Reply to Niece called me hysterical. Teen pregnancy, brother kicked her out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP with a bit of an update.

Firstly, my kids DO share a bedroom already. The third bedroom is used as DH's home office which he uses regularly.

Secondly, Niece lied/misspoke/whatever. The boyfriend is not a boyfriend. He is a boy she met at a party and hooked up with. She does not know his last name. Some girl she barely knows met him at the mall and invited him to a huge house party Niece attended, where she met him.

Thirdly, Bro & SIL are not waivering on their feelings. They have refused to speak with Niece, blocked her on FB, closed her phone acct., etc. DH and I spoke with a lawyer who basically said we can force them to take her back but it will not go well for her. Based on what we told him about Bro & SIL, they will not treat her decently, they will not take her to doctor's appts, they will make life miserable for her and he foresees her running away multiple times.

So she can go through all that and THEN wind up in foster care or a group home for teen mothers or we can work out a way for her to stay with us.

Fourthly she is 19 weeks pregnant. She remains firm she wants to keep the baby. [b]I feel like we've made very little progress towards solutions[/b].[/quote]

That's ok. You don't need to have a solution right now. There is plenty of time.  Right now, just establish some basic house rules and enforce them.  Her parents just found out. They are in shock.   Will they chance their minds? They could.  Don't just assume they will never speak to her again.

If she wants to parent her child she has the right to do so. In a couple of weeks, you can sit her down and let her know what this entails.  Will she have to go into foster care if she can not move back with her parents? Will she continue to live with you ? What kind of financial assistance will she need to apply for?  If she continues to live with you, do not expect that she can take care of the baby. Understand that you will have to provide a considerable amount of assistance in terms of baby care, help her take care of herself, financial help, etc.

If she wants to explore adoption, you can help her with that also but know that chances she will place are very low and that if she does the stats show that she will likely end up pregnant again in the near term.[/quote]

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