Reply to If you had an abortion you really didn't want to have

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a mom who had to consider termination (surprise pregnancy, laid off from job, boyfriend walked out because he didn't want to be a dad.)  I ended up having the baby and keeping it, but if anything, I have become more pro-choice since having a baby.  But ideally, every conceived baby would be a wanted baby and a healthy one and nobody would ever need to terminate.  But we live in the real world, not an ideal one.

I know a number of people who have had abortions and went on to have healthy babies when the time was right.  None of them have ever expressed to me "excruciating, crippling" guilt or remorse.  (and I've stayed in touch with all of them and we're close - so I'd probably know.)  On the other hand, the woman I know who gave up her baby for adoption at 16 is still, at 42, extremely upset about doing so, though she went on to have more children.  It's f'ed her up pretty badly.  She has a relationship with her firstborn (the adopted one) now, but frankly, I think she might have been better off terminating than being pressured to give up the baby for adoption, which was typical for pregnant 16-year-olds in 1988.  Nobody will ever convince her that the adoptive parents gave him a better life than she could have.  (her mom also got pregnant young, out of wedlock, as did her sister, hence the pressure.  they were very poor.)[/quote]

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