Reply to Need a new perspective on problem with in-laws (long, sorry)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow - you didn't come immediately home when the step MIL called you to say she couldn't care for the baby? You left your 10 month old basically in the care of a stepmother you knew nothing about? I agree that they are being ridiculous, but I never would have done that. Your kids were probably all super stressed by staying at a strange house, all the changes in caregivers, and what has turned out to be an evil step grandmother.[/quote]

Where did you get this from? FILs wife is neither evil, nor strange. She has been in their lives since they were born and we are usually very close to her. They also go to FILs house all the time, and have slept there before. And when they said they couldnt take care of the baby, he went with MIL and BIL instead for the last 2 days. [/quote]

Op, you are super duper defensive and that is blocking you from seeing this clearly.

This was not a good idea. This was too much to ask. It did not go well for anyone involved. I am sure you were stressed, your ILs clearly had a miserable time and are harboring anger and resentment, your baby was miserable, and your older children, well, they got shuttled around a lot. So, not a good experience for any party, really. I think it is time to muster up your ability to really, sincerely say it was a bad idea, you are sorry. No qualifications, no justifications. Objectively, you and DH made a mistake. You expected and asked for too much, and you put your extended family in a bind. Simply tell them that, and explain that you will not be asking for such a large favor ever again. And then act on it. You want to go out, arrange for a babysitter in the future or don't go. A week long vacation when you have a toddler and a baby under a year is simply crazy and un-doable. A weekend, sure. And I maintain, when you were told that it was too much for them to deal with the baby, a signal call of distress if you will, you should have come home and taken over the situation rather than unloading your kids elsewhere. If you had done so, I am sure that good faith gesture would have resolved this issue.  Honestly, you need to step back and let go of your defensive shield. You wanted to go, and so you justified it to yourself by planning it all out, but it really just wasn't a good plan. No amount of prep would have allowed this to go smoothly with such little kids. You should have not gone, taken them, or hired a full week sitter. You can't afford one, you are back to not going.[/quote]

Whoa! Are you OPs mother or something? Get down off your high chair and STFU.[/quote]

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