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[quote=Anonymous]OP here - thank you for all the advice...I know, I know...the changing cell phone, the locked car, etc etc.  It does sound bad, but he has repeated over and over that it was not physical.

I do think he has or had a big crush on her.  I do think she also pursued him.  and now that I see the comment about him just asking me to move out a few days ago, I realize that is terrible.  He wasn't thinking straight at all.  I think he did want a divorce or separation and he sort of fell under her spell.  He also had an anxiety disorder that occassionally rears its ugly head.  He was going through a lot of stress at work. None of this makes it right at all, but I think it built up into a situation where he was communicating with her constantly.  i think in his mind, he was unhappy with me, and so he allowed himself to reach out to her (his crush)...I think he has come to his senses a little bit anyways right now.  
I agree that it may be hard to me to forget about her but prob. even harder for him to forget about her.  But I have three kids and a house I really like and we can't afford to get divorced.  Also, he seems genuinely sorry (despite the fact that he won't let me see emails/texts.)  The phone company doesn't keep texts or records of what numbers texts were sent to..I already called. [/quote]

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