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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, only you can truthfully know whether -- perhaps -- you encouraged you daughter to apply to the very best private school to satisfy your own ego; that is, to prove to yourself and the world that you have raised a daughter who is intelligent and talented enough to succeed on her own merits in this world.  I am assuming that this was not your motivation.

The benefit to your daughter of the application process -- even if you decide not to send her to the private school -- is that, yes(!), she did demonstrate to herself, to her parents, and to the admissions committee that she is an intelligent and talented young woman who is capable of great success in her life.

I believe that parents have to make the decisions that are best for the entire family, with more weight given to the adults.  If sending her to the private school will place too much of a financial burden on your family, then it is not for your daughter's "feelings" to trump that reality.

Trust me, we have moved our DS and DD around the world more than once, in order to further DH professional and personal ambitions, as well my own.  Our children similarly sometimes felt upset to leave a school or friends, but they have always adapted and they are resilient.  Your daughter is also.

[/quote]

OP here

Thank you for this.  It is exactly what I was saying before. Children are more resilient then we think.

Of course I did not intentionally do this.  Yes, we thought we could swing it during the admissions process.  I am pretty sure we still can.  However, I rather not take the risk. I don't want to put her in and realize a year a two down the road that we can not afford it and pull her out of private school later.  THAT would hurt her more.  A lot of parents end up doing that.  I have two other children to think about as well.  My DD knew this going in.  I hid nothing from her. [/quote]

So, what happens when, someday, your daughter figures out that you could have afforded it?  Because she will.  Not to mention, you're changing your story --  now, she "knew this going in?"[/quote]

The OP never changed her story.  OP has repeated this a few times in the thread.[/quote]

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