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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm tired of this notion that pregnant women are supposed to be worshiped and everyone has to fuss over them.
...

I was pregnant and had a miscarriage.  ...
  I lost the baby, and I still didn't tell her about it, because I didn't want her to relive all of her pain from the years of trying.

People have to remember that aside from the grandparents-to-be, no one is going to care as much about your pregnancy and baby as you and your husband. .....

It's all part of the narcissism of our culture.  Getting married, getting pregnant, these aren't "accomplishments."  ......

....
Now I have a relative who is pregnant and has made it a point to constantly update me on every aspect of her pregnancy and how wonderful it is to experience the baby moving, on and on.

Being pregnant isn't an excuse to be selfish, narcissistic and unkind.  
..........
Maybe if all people regarded pregnancy in this way, we wouldn't have so many spoiled and entitled children who grow up to be spoiled and entitled and self-centered adults.

Flame away, people!  [/quote]
OK, I will flame
It is good manners to be nice to people, and that includes being nice to old people and pregnant people. Mothers are valuable members of society
If you decide to not tell your sister of your pregnancy and miscarriage then you simply are not close and never were. You are  just distant
You are right, nobody cares, and that is why our society is full of selfish, narcissistic and unkind people
If you have a relative who is telling you about the details of her life and you this is wrong, then by all means go and tell her. I suppose she just assumed you were a friend for some strange reason

Spoiled and entitled self centred adults are not the fault of pregnant mothers. Find someone else to blame[/quote]

Totally NP, who's both had one healthy pregnancy and had 4 miscarriages (one in 2nd term).  You PP are making ridiculous assumptions and your post makes no sense.  The fact that you can't comprehend that a sister who actually IS close to her sister might want to be considerate and wait until getting to the 2nd trimester to tell her if the other sister just had a miscarriage... that shows that you have some bizarre perception where on the one hand you think people should be less selfish and more kind, but on the other you are comfortable making absurd assumptions and judgements and being a total b**** about it.

It is a crazy world.

I truly believe [/quote]

Ooops, got cut off...

I truly believe that the best any one of us can do is proceed with the best possible intentions.  Honestly, I don't understand how filling a childless person or person struggling with infertility in on every detail of your own pregancy is with best intentions.  At best it is not being considerate at all and is a bit thoughtless... at worst it's rubbing salt in the wound, maybe subconsciously, maybe consciously.  But whether you tell or don't tell, if you're making your choice because you are trying to consider the other person's situation, then let the chips fall where they may.  You tried to be nice, but if it's taken badly, apologize, tell them what your sincere thoughts were about it, and if they can't get over it, you just have to go on wit your life.

I have been hurt or offended many times by things people have done, but whenever they explain their actions and it sounds like they sincerely didn't intend to hurt or really were trying to help, I try to get over my hurt really fast.  And I'm grateful that they tried to be considerate.

As far as OP's situation goes, I think she's being selfish and obnoxious, and I think she should focus on her blessings and focus on whatever was good with her SIL before the pregnancy and just move on.  Parenting and being a partner are just way too consuming to waste energy worrying about whether someone else has paid you the "right' amount of attention to your pregnancy.  Look for a pregnant friend or post ont he pregnancy message boards and talk as much as you like about your pregnancy.  But don't expect everyone to drop everything and wiggle with joy for you.  That is ridiculous.[/quote]

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