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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The whole point of a joke is to be funny. If it's not funny, it's not a joke. This wasn't funny.

If it were me, I would have helped my daughter clean up and put her somewhere else to sleep for the night. And at 7 am I would have called the other girls' parents and asked them to pick up their daughters right now, and then when they came, said, "This is what your daughters did. I don't accept that kind of behavior in my house." (I would hope the parents would apologize and let their daughters have it on the way home, but that's up to them, not me.)

The social media issue is another concern, but I don't know how to deal with it.[/quote]

This is exactly how I feel but I would add the one piece of having my daughter expressed to both girls in the morning how upset she was that they would do this to her.  She needs to learn to express her feelings appropriately and not depend on her mom to handle it.  Then comes the conversation with your daughter about how to handle it. If she feels it was a prank and just a one time poor judgment on the girls park, apologies ad forgiveness will help them move on and retain a friendship. If we were all shut out for every mistake we ever made, we'd have no friendships or relationships left!   This is a great time to talk about trust-having it, keeping it, earning it back, losing it for good.  However she sees this as part of a pattern of behavior on their part, help her see that these are not friendships she should be developing.[/quote]

NP here, I didn't read all the responses but this is what I'm thinking.  My parents either told me to ignore things or left me to handle it (school of tough love) and I don't think that served me well as an adult.  When Ai had to deal with crazy boss or inappropriate co-worker, Ai didn't know how to handle it other than leave the job.  When Ai was younger,  I needed someone to help with the tools and guidance to do it on my own, not an atta girl and send me back in.  I think there is an appropriate way to stand up for yourself but you need to learn how and may need guidance to help figure it out if you don't have a ready example of how it was done.  You also need to have the courage to do so.  Part of the anger, upsetness is feeling that you have no power and have to accept being treated badly, so figuring out how to have that voice, get your power back, and doing it in a way that doesn't get you in trouble is ultimately empowering. [/quote]

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