Reply to Wife and I don't see eye-to-eye on money

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Wife and I don't see eye-to-eye on money"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I actually agree with the 50/50 guy.
The only issue would be when there was a MAJOR gap in income ($150k vs $40k, for example), and you were living a $250k lifestyle - every cent of the lower earners income would be gone.  However, I don't think 50/50 guy and his wife would then agree to a $250k lifestyle -- correct?
I have to assume that 50/50 guy isn't demanding this upper class lifestyle from his wife and she can't afford it.[/quote]

50/50 guy here.  It is about 3:1 and she makes around $90k.  and still has plenty to save.  And we live well under our collective means, each of us saving about 20% of gross.[/quote]

NP here, I know my main problem with your posts is that you keep wanting a reason for why women feel entitled to their husbands' earnings.  So you only feel this is a trait of women and not men.  What about households where the woman earns more than the man?  They are fairly common around here.  If you always think it should be 50/50, then stop assigning this feeling of entitlement to women only.

For my marriage at least, we have always pooled our  money.  We each get an equal amount to spend on ourselves, with no justification required to the other.  And the rest is put into a joint account, to be spent on all household expenses.  This arrangement has worked for us for 10 years now, through times where he has earned more and times where I have earned more.  We sit down together annually for a big budget meeting where we set our budget for the upcoming year, and then we go over it together every couple of months to make sure that we are still on track and reevaluate where necessary.  He regularly monitors our accounts and expenses, as he now stays at home and has more time for this task and is the primary shopper for the house.  I used to be the one who did this when he was still working and I had more time.  I think this approach works for us as opposed to your absolute division of money, because too many things are not easily assigned a value or divided between us.  He is home more than I am, so should he pay more of the mortgage and utilities?  Work around the home has never been 50/50 either.  Whichever one of us is home more does more cleaning/cooking/laundry.  Instead of keeping track of who is doing what, we both do what we can to make life as good as possible for our family as a whole.  You stated in an earlier post that this is very communist, and it is.  We each are working for the good of the family, sharing all resources and work, each contributing what we can.  Just because I don't believe this works for a society doesn't mean it doesn't work best for a family, where the well being of the family as a whole is extremely important to me as an individual.

This is of course what works for my marriage.  I don't believe that this is what is best for everyone.   I think each couple needs to determine what works for them and do it.  I do know that I would not have married someone who believed the way you do, but I don't think you would marry someone that believes the way I do.  And that's fine.  Why do you want justification for why other people do things differently than you do?  Let them do what works for them and you do what works for you.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics