Reply to Wife and I don't see eye-to-eye on money

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dr. 23:27:

Being ignorant of the impact of the legal, economic and sexual market place dynamics does not make one make better decisions - it makes one make ignorant decisions.

And in these instances, that ignorance benefits women over men.  So, naturally, you are an advocate of that ignorance.

It is down right negligent for fathers/men to allow future men to make decisions in these spheres without understanding the laws and powers that undergird and guide them.

[b]Surely you don't believe a man should get married without fully understanding the potential consequences?
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If you think that a man should in fact sign that "contract" when she can walk away for literally no reason and take his money and children - then you are advocating for men to make suboptimal decisions based on misinformation.  Why?  Because it benefits women.

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Nobody can fully understand consequences of marriage and overly focusing on legal consequences is a terrible start for a marriage. It defeats the whole purpose of it, which is not contractual but psychological. You are optimizing your decision based on the one factor that is easy to quantify but by doing so you are letting that factor play an outside role on the scheme of things.

And it's funny how you perceive men and women within a relationship as individuals with conflicting interests, but then "women" as some kind of homogenous group working tightly together. There are very few women who care about the good of women anywhere close to how much they care about the good of their husbands, sons, brothers, fathers... We are not out there to get you, seriously - at least not any more than you fellow men.[/quote]

Well actually you are conflating the notions of marriage and a committed relationship.  Marriage is specifically a legal agreement sanctioned and enforced by the state.  A committed relationship can occur between two consenting individuals.

So, yes, it makes sense to focus on the legal and economic consequences of marriage separate (not exclusively) from the impact of being in a committed relationship because these are two different things.

It is part of the "system" to make men and women believe that in order to be fully realized in a relationship they have to also subject themselves to the legal consequences of the marital system as it is currently structured.

Further, simply taking a blind leap of faith into the legal system that is marriage is actually encouraging damaging behavior, typically for men.

When you say that analyzing the actual situation one is encouraged to leap into blindly defeats the entire purpose - you are unwittingly playing the hand of those that wish to see men subjected to these unfair practices.

"leap blindly!" "to question is to ruin the entire thing!" "ask no questions!"

would you give that advice to your daughters?

with all due respect, and i do value your opinion and appreciate the dialogue, to say that the purpose of marriage is "not contractual" is on par with Orwellian "newspeak" - it is clearly meant to obfuscate the true purpose of the action - you are playing misdirection.

Marriage is a contract.  Period.

Love?  Romantic love?  Willful unions and partnerships?  None of them require this contract that has its basis in another era.  And I'll remind you, in that era woman were delivered as virgins, came with a dowry, and were subjugated to their husbands as the bible commands (I am not religious).  All the bad parts of the marriage agreement for women have been stripped, leaving it barren for the man, solely existing as a tool for enforcement, asset extraction, and punishment.

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Yes, there are definitely women who are focused on their male family members and partners more than anything else - and I applaud that and cherish that in my own relationships.  However, there is in fact an organized movement that works to empower women as a group often times at the expense of men as a group.  To avoid considering that, is again, negligent and ignorant.

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