Reply to I'm the step mom--do I get a vote?

Forum Index » Money and Finances

Reply to "I'm the step mom--do I get a vote?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Lots of interesting replies thus far.

My dd was very similar. ADHD, GPA very similar. She wasn't motivated, and we did not press the college decision. We talked about options, I told her we could visit schools she was interested in, but she never asked.

We also made it clear up front that for any class in which she received a grade lower than a C, she would be responsible for the amount of tuition (on a per-credit basis) that class had cost. So if the cost was $300/credit and she received a D in that class, she was responsible for $900 in tuition the next semester.

She is in her last semester at our local community college (decided to go the CC route for numerous reasons, one of which was a lack of motivation to explore other options. Another was that her sister is 9 years younger than she is, and she wanted to be at home a few more years. At least that's the story she's stuck to...). She's spent 5 semesters at the CC and will have her associates degree at the end of this semester.

There were a few bumps early on, and she dropped a few classes along the way, but she's been able to keep her grades a C or higher, and has come to us when she's felt the need to drop a class, instead of just doing it on the sly.

Her grades have gone up as she's adjusted, and she had a 4.0 last spring. Miracle.

She took her time looking at different schools to transfer to, and in addition to our state schools, looked at several out west (University of Oregon, University of Colorado, a small school in Wisconsin). In the end, she was down to the University of Maryland (I'm an alumni, my mother's an alumni) and Towson University. She broke my heart and chose Towson, and starts there in January. She also made what I think is probably the best decision FOR HER.

So, what does your step-daughter want? Is she motivated to go to college? Does she have her heart set on something? Or is it possible that her mom and dad are pushing her and projecting their desires on her?

I think you absolutely get a vote. I understand your reluctance to shell out $40-50K a year for a so-so student who you feel is sliding by. I am assuming her ADHD is being addresed and accommodated properly; if that's not the case, the first course of action should be to fix that.

How are. Relations between you, dh, and his ex? Would it be possible for the three of you to get together and have an honest discussion and come to an agreement? I know that's not always possible, but if it is, that's where I'd start. Then the three of you could talk to your step-daughter and present a unified front.

Good luck. I know it must not be easy.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics