Reply to DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here. This post seems to be taking a weird turn, and possibly the OP was a little over-dramatic. But I do think she has a legitimate gripe. If a parent is concerned about a kid's behavior toward her own child, it is NOT appropriate to hijack a volunteer assignment to chastise other kids. She should have taken it up with the teacher, or with the OP directly if it was that serious; if it was just the apparently normal nonsense that goes on between kids, she should be working with her daughter to figure out solutions for managing social difficulties.

I say that as a parent of an elementary student who has been the subject of some teasing etc. by other classmates. I do occasionally volunteer, in part to get a first-hand sense of how he interacts with others. But I would NEVER confront another child while volunteering except to deal with an immediate danger or problem (eg., break up a fight on the playground or something like that.) OP, I'd speak to the teacher in all this. But I do agree that someone should give the other parent guidance about volunteer responsibilities.[/quote]

If the OP child was excluded kids from a playground game while the parent volunteer was supervising then she is within her rights to ask the kid to be inclusive.  I know my DD has mentioned that is one of the playground rules the aides enforce.  If this has something to do with 9 year old drama in the classroom the parent was in the wrong to corner the other kid on the playground.  The proper way to handle it is to talk to the teacher.

I still have my diary from 4th grade (Remember Judy Blume and how diaries were all the rage back then) and I am sure it is filled with drama in the classroom.  It is amazing I learned anything in school.  I had one of those frenemies ( best friend one day, enemy the next) and was the new kid/ teacher's pet to boot.  I remember how it was all about having a best friend that never left your side until maybe 9th grade.  I don't know how much was kids being mean on purpose and how much was like a fear of playing musical chairs and being the one left without a chair so you clung to your domain ( best friends, seat position in the bus) because you didn't want to be left with no one.  The reason a neutral 3rd party needed to be involved is IF say OP's daughter was excluding the other girl, first, you don't know if the other girl either said something first or reacted to something (right or wrong) that made the situation worse.  Also, I can tell you from my experience that adults are still the kids on the playground and to navigate the real world you have to know how to stand up for yourself in such a way that you don't seem like the off-the-rocker one. I unfortunately didn't learn how to stand up for myself from day one until I was much older.  Having a neutral 3rd party could have addressed both kids hopefully in a way that wouldn't make either kid defensive and allow each of them to learn compassion for each other and how to handle situations in a polite manner for themselves.[/quote]

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