Reply to Grinders and strivers and curators, oh my!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At the end of the day, anyone who uses the word "striver" is someone with an unhealthy obsession with other people's children and insecurity about their own children. [/quote]

Nope. It is people who want to surround their children with [b]smart, interesting, funny, kind, curious, sincere people.[/b] I think for you that list stops at smart.[/quote]

The highest concentration of this type that either of our kids ever met was/is at their ivies. They are like this too. Almost everyone there studies and puts in effort to get to the next step, but they also have fun, hang out, have time for sleep, have extracurriculars that really do bring them joy. They are supportive of each other. 
There were more "grinders" and "strivers" (the negative way DCUM describes them on this thread) at their private high school and some of their competitive summer programs. However, to be successful reaching the next goal when one is surrounded by other smart interesting creative disciplined students, as happens at Ivies/stanford/MIT, one does have to "grind" (study hard) and "strive"--make sure they are networking and chasing opportunities at the ivy. Newsflash the award-winning, faculty favorite top kids in physics, engineering are studying hard! These are difficult subjects.

Neither of ours had to do this level of studying at their competitive high school, everything came easier to them than peers. One is likely top 5% at their ivy and the other is/was top 1/4(class of 2026 just graduated). 
Each student has to make their own calculation of how much they want to work to reach their goals, and to me at least I do not see anything wrong with those who had to work a lot harder in high school versus those that did not feel the real competition until college. Better to have them put their heart into it than face the competition and give up their dreams(MD/phd for one and phd later after they see what happens with a funded startup). If that is "grinding" and "striving" so be it. Very few people on this board have the intelligence level of the 99.9% to know what it really feels like, even when you sit near the top of a competitive peer group.

I am an MD married to a stem professor: neither of us got where we were without grinding at times and striving at times especially grad/med. We credit our top-15 college(s) for helping teach us how to compete for the next level. We would have stagnated at easier schools without that peer group push.[/quote]

You're not getting the true definition of a striver. I can tell from your response that unlike others, you are being very sincere in your comment. Working very hard and/or being very smart does not make one a striver. It is doing it in more of a a less genuine way that is the difference.[/quote]

You can tell who is genuine based on skin color.

Whern a white kids strts a non-profit, they have passion, when an indian kid starts a non-profit, they are only doing it for college admissions.[/quote]

Nope. I'm the one who everyone is lashing out at as racist. Which I find hilarious. But anyway.

I actually find the kids of every race (particularly the many white kids who do so) who create phony non-profits that will get shut down the day they get into college to be the worst. Not sure if "striver" is 100% the right word for all of them but it is pretty close. They are awful.

I view the world in a color blind way. I can think of countless examples of strivers who are Asian, Indian, white, black, and many other things. Anyone who is equating this term with being racist or whatever else is being intellectually lazy and demeaning that term. Unfortunately there is still way too much racism in this country - I hate it. So by misusing the term like this you are trivializing the term. Particularly when there are a number of posts in this thread that very clearly explain that this is not a racist term. But you choose to ignore it because you are having fits of rage and are being antagonistic and adversarial and trying to pick a fight for no good reason. Or perhaps just defensive - if the shoe fits, wear it.

And to my point about the kinds of personality qualities that I admire, I similar have close friends of basically every group who demonstrate these qualities. They are not simply white characteristics. I find it kind of horrifying that someone would even suggest this. I cited the example of Sundar Pichai (who is a friend of a friend of a friend) as a relatively well-adjusted person who might be accused of being a striver and in my effort to make a very positive comment about someone from a group that is often accused of being strivers, I was told I am wrong. I can't win.

I'm out. I try to keep strivers out of my life. This place seems to be heavily populated by them, so perhaps I should just stay away from here. You be you. I'll be me. That's what makes this country great. Until Trump further screws it up by being a real racist.[/quote]

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