Reply to No sex drive and dh and I argue over it constantly!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Meh, most young women are not looking to have kids with divorced DCUM dads in their 50s. This is a trope that is a male fantasy and not reality. It sounds like you’ve recently watched the movie Stepmom or something where the completely average man in his 50s gets a hot Julia Robert’s 20s who is interesting and can’t wait to just drop everything to raise his kids with another woman - it doesn’t happen in real life."

What does happen in real life: DH gets resentful and misses feeling like he's special to a woman. He meets a never married woman in her early 40s and starts up a relationship with her. She might still be able to get pregnant but doesn't use birth control because it's not likely. Then BOOM! DH has an enthusiastic woman who very much wants him, while you continue rejecting him and giving him very little affirmation. Which one of you do you think he's going to choose? [/quote]

Again with the threats. I just don’t think that’s going to work. I agree with you that if one person wants sex and the other person doesn’t they are at an impasse and they need counseling or to find a solution or to split. I don’t think anyone’s really arguing that but this whole notion that DH can just go out and find a new wife and BAM his problems are solved and he won’t have any more relationship issues without severely messing up his life is reductive and dismissive, and not based in reality.

Does this mythical 52-year-old man who is currently married with Kids, who finds a 43-year-old who can’t wait to have sex with him and then knocks her up, is he thinking about 10 years from now. When he’s 62, he has a 53-year-old who won’t have sex with him and an eight-year-old. And do the kids from his first marriage speak to him? They were probably old enough at that point to figure out what’s going on and I have of teens have a severely damaged relationship with a parent who is left for an affair.

Painting this La La Land of an escape route for DHs is just silly. Agree they don’t deserve to just be left out in the cold, they deserve counseling and communication and coming up with a solution. But painting them as if they have an easy escape route without completely screwing up everybody’s lives but mostly their own is like I said reductive and silly. [/quote]

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