Reply to Is pride really worth losing your family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve never understood why some people demand apologies from people. She’s not sorry. That’s why she’s not apologizing.   It’s that simple.  Maybe she doesn’t like you.

But I think you were wrong to cut off access to the grandkids.  Did she do anything to them? It’s too late for that now but I feel it’s always wrong to put kids in the middle.

I do not speak to my SIL for something that happened between us.  I would NEVER try to prevent my kids from having a relationship with their aunt.  I don’t speak bad of her to them.  They are teens now and can text her and visit her without me. [/quote]

DP. I'm sorry but you cannot seriously think that you go and insult your DIL, the MOTHER of your grandchildren and then have access to them. Who would be giving you that access? The insulted DIL or her husband, your DH, who is also put off that his mother insults his wife? At some point an adult must take responsibility. Sure, you can insult whomever you want, but this comes with consequences. Nobody owes you anything. Certainly not any access. It's strange to have to spell this out to another adult. [/quote]

So cut her off? But getting pissed that she doesn’t care suggests you aren’t serious about cutting her off and it was an empty threat. [/quote]
It’s very clear that it wasn’t the OP who “cut her off”, as you keep saying. There is no evidence of that. Some awful wife who forced her DH to cut off his mom wouldn’t be posting and introspective question such as “is pride really worth losing your family”. I think it’s really sad that you can’t relate to a scenario where, if someone disrespected you, your husband wouldn’t go to bat for you.  [/quote]

I presume they are a united front and OP isn't sending cards or photos of the kids to the MIL on the side. But deciding that the other party must apologize and then getting upset when they don't is stupid. OP and her husband and suffering from the consequences of their own decision. I guess MIL called their bluff. And it's not sad or anything b/c I don't know these people and don't give a rat's ass about any of them.[/quote]
Of course it’s sad to realize someone’s pride (or whatever is driving them) matters more to them than a relationship with their own son and grandchildren. That’s a painful thing to come to terms with. It’s not about “calling a bluff”, it’s about seeing where someone’s priorities really are.

At the same time, feeling that sadness doesn’t automatically mean they regret setting a boundary. Two things can be true: they can be grieving what they hoped that relationship would be, and still feel more at peace now than they did when there was constant disrespect.[/quote]

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